Friday, 11 July 2014

The Lighter Side of the Dark Milennium

Many people are drawn to Warhammer for it's deep and rich back story, the endless tales of war between the Space Marines and whichever poor schmuck is in their way this week. But that's not for me, I really care little for whether the Emperor will ever return to life, or the ramifications of the Heresey, I also have very little time for Eldar stories. I do however prefer the more leftfield fluff that is perhaps more lighthearted in it's approach.

Maybe it's because I started the hobby back in a time when Doomrider was a thing, Slaanesh Noise Marines sported Leopard Print and Eldar Jetbikers sported Hells Angels jackets (heck, the sculpt is that old that they still do).

Maybe because I just find the stony faced serious nature of everything a case of the fun being sucked out of the game and every internet discussion being either a) GW are a bunch of money hungry wasters or b) how best to break the game so you never lose a game in your life ever. For me, my working life is all the serious I will ever need.

I mean, I find the Space Marines the dullest of all the Mary Sues in existence. But because of the efforts of part of the community that produces material like that on the right here, I am more than willing to entertain their existence.

Even the Eldar, which I am so fond of, aren't safe. The most background I have ever read on the race (no thanks in part to GW's lack of material) has come from other sites. My views of Eldrad, for example, are based on light hearted conjecture. As an aside, on one GW coach journey, we had a quiz, and one of the questions was "How did the Horus Heresy end?". I'm pretty sure that everyone under the Warhammer sun knows that little ditty off by heart, so I rewrote it so that Eldrad won and ushered in the new Eldar empire.

Now, I am not in any way, shape or form, attempting to dictate to people how they should enjoy the hobby. If the deep and engrossing backstory of the Space Marines is what floats your boat, then great! What really matters is that you are enjoying your hobby, but for people such as myself, forging a more entertaining narrative with my collection is how I get my kicks.

I remember when I painted my Cutie Markers for Tale of Many Gamers, there seemed to be many who were reaching for the Exterminatus button because it wasn't in fitting with the universe that was created for them. They'll probably be even more annoyed when I add another three for use in Maelstrom missions. The funny thing is, that no-one seemed to mind when I converted a larger Command Barge for Zhandrek and called it the Pimp Barge, but thanks to 7th Edition, it will never see the field of battle.

I guess in having no interest in taking part in conversations on which Primarch could have which Primarch in a fight is probably why I seem to be less socially active in GW circles these days. It's probably only so many times someone can a conversation on the latest Heresy novel and my eyes glaze over that people decide not to bother. It's probably as annoying for them as it is when I see someone paint a yellow Marine with red trim and mention "Hey, are you painting Angry Marines" to only be met with the response "What is an Angry Marine?"

That's not to say that I shun the serious aspect of the universe completely, it was only through listening to the audio books of Prospero Burns and A Thousand Sons that I developed an admiration for the character of Ahriman, I bought Shadowsun because of the novella and I have all 6 of the Eldar Path series which has also shaped my Eldar forces. I just wish that some people would embrace the less serious side of the community more often, lets have a discussion instead on who would win in a game of hide and seek, the Raven Guard or the Reasonable Marines, how much of a dick Eldrad is or those stupid sexy Xenos. Maybe it will creep into your gaming and that win at all costs attitude will make way for writing a list 'because it may be fun'.


  1. I will have to send you a picture from a holiday themed painting competition my flgs had. my favorite entry was a rabbi work smashing a Santa space marine in the face with a custom made power dreidel.

    1. We had something similar a few years back, it was the first painting competition I had ever won and I took it with Lilith Hesperax in a sexy santa outfit wielding a candy cane.

      The ironic part was that she ended up wearing more clothes than she normally does...